


Rescue Me

by AquaMarina (LittlePandemonium)



Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:00:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 12,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22175941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittlePandemonium/pseuds/AquaMarina
Summary: In which a family is broken.
Relationships: Tracy Family - Relationship
Comments: 5
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Got a new story on the go! This time it's gonna be a multi-chapter fic! I say a new story, but this one has actually been stuck in limbo for around five years, whoopsie! xD
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

It was cold.

This was the first thought which registered in John's fragile mind as he regained consciousness. Feeling a sudden tightness in his chest, a wave of panic washed over the boy when he realized he couldn't breathe. The small blonde cried out and threw his hands forward, inadvertently cutting through the frozen wall of ice which was encased around him to reveal broad daylight. Wincing at how bright everything was, it took him a moment before he could focus properly on the destruction that lay around him.

The ski resort was in bits. Half buried buildings were littered down the snowy slope, covering what had been the ski lift and the small chalet sitting at the foot of the mountain. Torn items of clothing could be seen peeking out from underneath the wall of snow. The faint moans of the trapped were muted by the snowy blanket covering them. He could see some people dressed in uniforms running around frantically, obviously searching for survivors.

Just what had happened?

John winced as he tried to remember. He recalled the picturesque view from the top of the ski slope; the bright blue sky framing the white giant of another mountain in the distance. His brother tapping his shoulder to get his attention and the pair of them laughing at the lost look on their father's face as the man watched two experts glide down the mountain, clearly regretting his decision of bringing the boys up this high.

His brother? Where was his brother?

"Avalanche! Avalanche!"

It all happened so fast. One minute John was skiing alongside Scott and his father, the trio trying to race each other down the slippery slope, when an almighty crack cut through the air, echoing down the mountainside. He remembered turning to look back and see a flash of white beginning to tumble down the mountain. He remembered stumbling on his skis and losing his poles as he swerved to avoid a tree. He remembered the absolute fear on his father's face as he dove towards the two boys, catching them in his arms just as a white wave of ice consumed them.

Dad!

John's mouth shot open and he forcefully pushed his way out of his icy prison. His sudden movements caused a burning pain to shoot through his right arm. He tearfully pulled the tender limb into his chest to cradle it and looked up in a daze. He was so disorientated. Freezing too. But he was alive.

What of his family?

A low moan brought him out of his thoughts. Protecting his arm as best as he could by pressing it even closer to his chest, John shifted until he could see over the small incline that he had precariously come to rest on top of.

"S-Scott?" John's voice came out in a hoarse whisper.

It was indeed his older brother lying limply at the bottom of the incline. The snow was stained crimson around him which meant Scott was, or had been bleeding.

So he needed John's help.

Forcing himself onto his knees, the ten year old stumbled down the incline in a desperate attempt to reach his brother, knowing that Scott could possibly be injured internally. Once he'd reached him, he was horrified to see his brother so still, half buried in the snow face down.

Using his good arm to quickly lift Scott's face out of the snow where it had been forced on impact, John then pushed his brother onto his side to check if he was still breathing.

He was.

John let out a short sob. Scott was alive! The blonde felt around his brother's body to locate the source of the bleeding and found a large scrape on his leg, which was caused by a slice of metal from the ski lift, judging by the broken parts surrounding them.

"S-Scotty? Scotty, p-please wake up!" he shivered, shaking Scott's shoulders in a frantic attempt to wake him.

After a few minutes which felt like forever for John, the unconscious child slowly began to open his eyes, brow creased, "J-Johnny? What happened?"

"A-Avalanche, Scott, there was an avalanche!" John whimpered, crawling closer to his older brother.

"A-Avalanche?" the thirteen year old gasped, taking this moment to look up and around at their destroyed surroundings.

"We w-were in a-an avalanche." John cried, "and I-I can't find d-dad!"

"D-Dad?" Scott whimpered, his vibrant eyes darting up and down the white slope. He couldn't see him. He needed to know his dad was okay. They had to find him. They had to find him, and fast.

Scott stood up with determination, ignoring the fire in his leg. He hastily pulled John up by his right arm but the blonde cried out loudly, pain shooting through his injured limb once again. Scott immediately let go and just managed to catch John as his legs buckled beneath him.

Laying his brother gently down in the snow, Scott cast a worried glance at him. "A-Are you hurt?"

"I-It's my arm. I think it's broken."

"Can you move it?"

"No, Scott."

"O-Okay." Scott winced, his teeth chattering as the unforgiving cold lashed at his face.

John let out another whimper. He fell forward in the snow as the pain in his arm became unbearable and ended up passing out.

"J-John?" Scott's eyes widened as his eyes met his fallen brother, "JOHN!" he crawled over to the blonde and shook his slight frame. "Help! HELP!" he called out, waving his arms around wildly in hope that someone would spot them before it was too late.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys have a Happy New Year!

Lucille...

My boys... Where are... my boys?

Jeff's breath exploded as he burst out of the depths of unconsciousness.

The first thing he registered was not that of the chills which were wracking through his body, or the acute pain sizzling in his left shoulder. It was the lack of his sons.

Scott... John...

My God!

Jeff forced himself to his feet, pushing through the wall of snow which had been his prison. He coughed uncontrollably for a few moments, then toppled over. His uncovered hands flew forward and came to rest on an untouched chalet which had been spared by the avalanche. It took him a few moments to get his breath back, and in this time he could see what damage had been done to the ski resort.

Jeff's first priority was to find his boys.

Ignoring the pain in his shoulder, Jeff trekked through the deep snow, desperately cutting through it using the lower half of his body. He could hear muffled screams coming from all around him and felt his breath hitch. This wasn't real. He was in a daze. This was not really happening. He was at work. No, he was at home, having a bad dream. He'd wake up in a moment, wouldn't he?"

"HELP!"

Jeff's head whipped around at the familiar shrill cry. He ran towards the source of the noise and prayed.

"Scott? SCOTT!"

"HELP!"

Jeff darted up a small incline and felt his chest constrict when his eyes fell on the sight before him. Scott was sitting next to an unconscious blonde figure.

John?

Jeff slid down the incline and practically tackled the duo in a hug, planting kisses on their heads and suppressed a sob. "Don't worry boys, daddy's here now..."

"Dad..." Scott felt his eyes growing heavy. Screaming for help had knocked the wind out of him. The last thing he remembered was his father's soothing voice before blacking out.

Jeff cradled Scott's head and ran his hand through John's locks. They were both unconscious now, but were alive and that's all that mattered.

It was just a case of reuniting with Lucille and his three youngest now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! They're kinda short at the moment but they will get longer, I promise!

After finally being spotted by a rescuer and having a hectic journey to safety, Jeff found himself and his two sons cooped up in one of the ski lodges, which was hastily being used as a casualty treatment area. Thankfully both boys were not hurt too badly - Scott's leg had now been patched up and John's arm had been splinted. Jeff was refusing treatment until he knew his wife and three youngest were safe.

Lucille and the boys had decided to wait in a cafe for Jeff, Scott and John to finish skiing down the bigger slopes. Virgil had been most upset at his arrangement, moaning to his mother about how unfair it was that he'd been sidelined. Jeff's worries had been understandable - Virgil was still young and his parents didn't want him getting hurt or lost on the higher slopes, a sentiment that his more experienced older brothers shared.

Jeff remembered kissing his wife goodbye as he steered his eldest sons out of the cafe, leaving a pouting Virgil and an excitable Gordon and Alan. The youngest duo knew their mother would soon be buying them the resort's delicious hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows on top that they'd been dying to taste since they arrived at the resort. Lucille gave him one final smile as he left.

So they were in the cafe, right?

Right.

He found it unlikely that they would've left the cafe without telling him. The Tracys made plans and stuck to their plans - that was Jeff's unspoken rule. His wife was alright. His children were alright. It was just a question of them reuniting.

After stubbornly telling a group of nurses to stop fussing over him, Jeff paced the lodge, wringing his hands as he pushed past medical personnel. His eyes met the lodge's large window and he had an undisturbed view of the cluttered mountainside. Rescuers were still visibly searching for survivors in vain. The terrain was too narrow and steep for emergency vehicles to get into the disaster area so rescuers were carrying stretchers on foot.

Jeff sighed and turned away, not wanting to see anything else.

Come on Lucille, where are you?

"Sir?"

Jeff turned to see the anxious features of a female nurse. "Yes, miss?"

"My superiors have asked if you'd like a separate room for your sons."

"What?"

"A separate room. Away from here. A suite suitable for someone with your kind of wealth."

"Are you... what? You can't be serious right now!" Jeff felt his anger growing, "My wife and children are missing! You think my main priority would be something as trivial as that?"

The nurse stepped back, intimidated by his outburst. "Sorry sir, I understand. It's just that my superior asked-"

"Tell your superior to get off his ass and help find my wife and kids!"

The nurse gave a brisk nod and went on her way. Jeff felt a stab of pain in his arm and shivered. He regretted losing his temper, but it was just so infuriating not knowing where Lucille and his boys were. He'd been told when he'd first arrived that his wife had been spotted in the cafe and was currently being evacuated with the other patrons, but that had been hours ago and nobody had updated him since.

"Have you any news?" he snapped to a passing orderly.

"I'm sorry sir, we still haven't heard. None of the people evacuated from the cafe so far claimed they were a 'Lucille Tracy', but our men are still looking."

Jeff coughed, "Fine, thank you,"

"Are you okay sir? You look rather pale."

"I'm fine. Just update me when you can, please."

"Yes sir."

Jeff crouched beside Scott and John. Scott was still unconscious but John had started to stir. His bright blue eyes swam with tears when they met his father's.

"D-Dad?"

"It's alright, son. I'm here."

"W-What... w-where?" he tried sitting up.

"Don't move, son." Jeff eased him back down. "You're hurt."

"I-I... I'm cold, dad." he whimpered, keeping his arm elevated. Jeff summoned a nurse and asked her for more blankets, which she soon returned with. Jeff draped two over John and another across Scott. He sat down beside the blonde and softly ruffled his hair.

"It'll be alright, son."

John let out a small whimper and held onto his dad's hand. He soon fell back asleep, leaving Jeff to stare longingly out of the window.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some more angst!

Scott felt sick.

His leg was throbbing, his chest felt tight and he couldn’t get over a horrible feeling lurking at the back of his mind. A feeling of being restricted, trapped... trapped in ice? _It was so cold..._

Scott woke up. He felt his entire body convulse and he let out a cry of alarm, trying to sit up in a panic.

“It’s okay Scott, it’s okay!” came the sharp, familiar voice of his dad. Jeff caught Scott’s wrists, preventing him from instinctively lashing out. 

Scott controlled his breathing and calmed himself down. His fuzzy eyes met his father’s and it dawned on him that his thoughts hadn’t just been a nightmare. He let out an erratic sigh and looked over at the small blonde laying next to him, finding John wrapped up in a bundle of blankets. His face met his father’s once again. “What...” he started, feeling his throat go tight. “Where...”

“They’re not here yet, son.” Jeff sensed Scott’s question about his missing mother and siblings. “But I’m hoping they will be soon.”

Disorientated, Scott once again tried to sit up. “I’ll go find them.” he rasped.

Jeff felt a pang in his heart and shook his head. He lowered his son back down on the mat, pulling up the blanket. Scott felt himself drifting back into unconsciousness and let out an unhappy whimper, wanting to stay awake. As he started to fade in and out of the darkness he weakly clung to his dad’s arm. Jeff responded by holding his hand.

Closing his eyes, Jeff let out a huge sigh, suddenly feeling light-headed. He ran his free hand underneath his coat and pulled it back out, revealing blood coating his fingertips. He thought as much - his stomach was still bleeding. He shook the pain away, knowing he had more important things to deal with than worrying about his injuries. Jeff’s eyes shot open when he heard the cry of someone nearby.

“Please, please help me! My baby’s stopped breathing!”

Darting her way through the horde of emergency personnel was a woman carrying a small lump in her arms. A doctor soon swept the baby from her, leaving her to collapse onto the floor in grief, her daughter crouched beside her. A nurse soon helped her to her feet and led her over to the corner where Jeff and his boys were resting.

“Bring him over here, I need my baby!” she cried.

“Your baby is fine, Mrs Sterling, the standby doctor is just giving him a once over and he’ll be brought back to you.”

“O-Okay, okay, just please hurry, I want him back!” she sniffed, holding her daughter close.

Jeff made eye contact with the woman and forced a smile, seeming inappropriate due to the circumstances. The woman forced a smile back, then felt herself gasp.

Jeff frowned, “Is something wrong, ma’am?”

“You... you’re Jeff Tracy.”

Jeff swallowed. Not the most obvious place he thought he’d be recognized. “I am.”

“Your... your wife...”

Jeff’s gaze lowered to his two sons, “Still missing.”

“As is my husband...” her eyes filled with tears. She pulled her daughter onto her lap and ran a hand through her golden locks.

“I’m sorry...”

“As am I...”

The two sat quietly for a few moments, listening to the sounds around them. Children were crying, the injured were moaning, and personnel were shouting at one another, becoming overwhelmed by the amount of people being brought up.

“Mrs Sterling? Your baby’s here,” announced the nurse, carrying over the small lump. She passed him over to the now sobbing woman and started talking to her about his condition. 

Jeff gazed over at the door, hoping his wife and kids would walk in at any moment.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Tracy angst! Enjoy. c:

It had been two hours since Jeff had spoken with any of the emergency personnel. He was still cooped up in the corner of the room with his sleeping sons. The Irish woman and her children were nearby, and Jeff had gotten to know them in the time they spent waiting together.

The woman was called Aine. She was a vet who had her own practice based in Ireland where she lived. She and her husband, Sebastian, had come up to the ski resort for a little holiday with their children, Isla and Alban who were aged four and one respectively. Her husband worked as a pilot for Air Terrainean Airways so was away from home a lot. This was the first time the family had been able to spend some time together, before being separated when the avalanche struck.

Jeff sighed and ran his hand through his locks. His damaged stomach throbbed painfully as he shifted his weight onto his thighs, his back having gone numb as a result of his awkward sitting position. He looked over at Aine. Like him, she was continuously eying up the door, praying that her husband would walk in unharmed.

One of the orderlies soon came over with a tray of snacks and drinks. Aine took a bag of mixed dried fruit and peanuts along with a bottle of water. The orderly came over to Jeff and he just shook his head. It had only just occurred to him how hungry he actually was. He hadn’t eaten since breakfast. The pain in his stomach spiked a little bit, causing Jeff to cry out. 

“A-Are you okay, Mr Tracy, sir?” Aine asked. Noticing the man had started to convulse, she called over a medic, who immediately ran to his aid.

When Jeff woke up again, he was laying in a stiff, white hospital bed. He tried to sit up but a small hand prevented him from doing so.

“Scott?”

“No. Isla.”

Jeff looked over the sheets to see an embarassed Aine shooing her daughter away from him. “I-I’m sorry, Mr Tracy. She won’t stay in the chair.” she explained, picking up her daughter and putting her in the large hospital chair in the corner of the room. “W-We were moved into this room together.”

“Where... am I? My sons?”

Aine pointed over to the bed next to Jeff’s own. A familiar blonde head was laying asleep in it. In the chair next to the bed was Scott curled up into a ball. Both were safe.

Jeff let out a shaky sigh of relief. “W-We were moved?”

“You were moved. You passed out and had to be operated on.”

Jeff’s throat prickled, “O-Operated on?”

The swish of a door cut into the room.

“Ah, Mr Tracy. How are we doing?” the doctor asked, crossing the threshold.

Jeff dazedly looked up at him, “F-Fine, I think.” 

Doctor Hitchens smiled, “Good, good. I hope your stomach isn’t causing you too much trouble now?”

“It... isn’t.”

“Good. You may feel a little woozy but that’s perfectly normal after surgery. It’ll take a little bit of time before the anaesthetic wears off but you should be up on your feet in no time at all. Aside from that, we’re just going to be monitoring you for any signs of infection that may pop up.” the Doctor grabbed his chart, eyes looking over what was written. He added a few notes then put it back down on the bed frame.

“T-Thanks.” Jeff forced out, not knowing what else to say. The drugs were clouding his mind, making it hard to concentrate. At least his stomach had been seen to. He didn’t think it would need stitching when he had first taken a look but he always downplayed his injuries. It was in his nature.

The doctor bowed his head and purposefully strode over to the cot next to Aine. “Ah, Mrs Sterling. I wanted to see how your son was doing.”

Jeff tried turning over on his side to face his sons but found it too painful. He gave up and rested on his back, soon finding his eyes growing heavy as sleep consumed him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did not expect to finish this chapter today! It's almost midnight and I'm up early tomorrow but apparently my mind had other plans! Hope you enjoy.

After a long few hours sitting up in bed, Jeff was getting desperate. There was still no word of his missing family members and his hope was beginning to fade. He couldn’t cope with the idea that he had lost his wife and three of his children on one day. It was impossible. Completely impossible.

He looked over at Aine, who was feathering her daughter’s hair through her hands. A while ago she had been called out and reunited with her husband for all but a brief moment, finding out that he was in critical condition with a slim chance of survival. She had been distraught when the doctors pushed her aside to rush him into surgery. But she knew she had no right to be upset. At least he had been found, unlike the spouse of the man she currently occupied the room with.

“W-Would you like something to drink, Mr Tracy?” Aine asked, spotting the man eying up the empty plastic cup on his bedside table.

“That would be nice, thank you.” Jeff forced out, unhappy that he wasn’t able to get up and make himself another drink.

Aine rested her sleeping daughter back down into the chair as she stood up, grabbing the cup and refilling it with fresh cold water from the water fountain outside the room. She passed it to him as she walked past, quickly reaching out to grab it again when it slipped from Jeff’s trembling hands.

“Sorry.” he muttered, readjusting his grip on the cup. He was still so weak from surgery.

“It’s alright.” she replied, taking a seat next to her sleeping children. She found herself looking over at Jeff’s children. Considering he was a celebrity, Jeff Tracy tried to keep his family out of the spotlight as much as he could, which was hard to do with the intrusive media and tabloids constantly forcing their way into the family’s life. The businessman was known for being a private person, so how would he cope when the media found out that he and his boys were in hospital?

She shuddered. The boys were young. Too young and innocent to even be in this situation. Just like her own kids.

Aine felt herself tearing up once more. It wasn’t fair. All she wanted to do was have a relaxing holiday in the mountains but even that had gone wrong. It had been her idea to come to the snowy Alps in the first place, so it was her fault her family were in this mess. And now her husband was dying and there was nothing she could do about it.

Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, Jeff noticed that Aine was looking more and more agitated. She had gone pale, and her eyes were wide. It looked as though she was going to have a panic attack. He quickly pulled the emergency cord at the side of his bed to attract the attention of the hospital staff. A few moments later two nurses arrived, and he pointed at the shivering woman.

“I think she’s having a panic attack!” he cried. 

The nurses soon took action and started communicating with the alarmed woman, calming her down enough for her to whisper back at them. Overwhelmed by the events of the day she burst into tears, waking her children who started crying too. In walked another nurse and a doctor and all four staff members escorted Aine and her children out of the room, leaving Jeff alone with his sons.

The door squeaked as it slid to, pulling Jeff out of his daze. Everything seemed unreal to him. His mind felt clouded. It was probably the drugs, he figured. Yes, the drugs. Dreams. All of this was probably a dream. A dream which would have a happy outcome soon enough. He’d wake up shortly and be back at the hotel, being woken up by Alan and Gordon jumping on his bed. 

Still sitting up in bed, he closed his eyes and tried falling asleep to make the outcome a reality.

“Mr Tracy, may I have a word?” the words phased into his sleepy bubble, causing him to open his eyes. The doctor was suddenly standing there, clipboard in hand, looking very grave. Jeff hadn’t heard him walk in.

“D-Doctor?”

Doctor Hitchens spoke clearly and concisely, “Your children and wife have been found.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which my knowledge of Diagnosis Murder helps me to write hospital-y things.
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to a cool dude, if you pardon the pun.

The doctor’s words echoed around in Jeff’s foggy head. They’d been found? They’d been found. THEY’D BEEN FOUND!

“A-Are they okay?” he croaked out, his heart thumping in his chest.

The nurse behind the doctor spoke up, “They were found together at the foot of the mountain. They were believed to have been on the ski lift as the avalanche occurred. They were rushed into our facility about forty minutes ago.”

Doctor Hitchens remained stoic. Being a member of senior staff and the head doctor of cardiology, he had experience in delivering often jarring news to loved ones. In this case, it was hopeful. “All three of your children are currently stable. They’ve been moved to one of the private wards on the top floor. I’m not aware of their current conditions but I do know all three were suffering from hypothermia. At this stage it is still treatable so be assured my staff are doing the best they can for your sons.”

“Thank you.” Jeff whispered. It took him a moment to digest the information given because of the fog in his mind but came to recognize the firm tone and what was being said to him.

“As for your wife, I have no further updates at this time. She was suffering with hypothermia like your sons, but I will keep you updated once we learn more information.”

“T-Thank you, doctor.” 

Jeff exhaled in relief. His family were okay. They’d been found, and they were okay. He felt his taut body suddenly melting into the mattress, his tension subsiding. They’d made it. They’d all made it. 

Exhaustion finally overcame him. A wave of darkness crashed over him and soon he fell asleep, his last thoughts being the excitement of reuniting with his wife again. His children would be so happy to hear the good news. 

Turning to their now sleeping patient, the nurse let out a sigh, thinking how unlucky the Tracys had been. Even billionaires couldn’t escape the wrath of natural disasters. It was ironic, really, but saddening. Jeff Tracy was known to be a bit of a recluse. He kept his family life strictly off limits and out of the limelight as best he could, but she knew that this incident would not be as easy to bury. It would be televised worldwide. She sighed again. His poor children.

Doctor Hitchens sensed her concern. He was about to open his mouth to reassure her when an intern burst into the room. The Doctor was surprised at this unorthodox entrance but the look on the poor boy’s face was one of horror.

“Doctor, Doctor! We have a Code Blue in the OR! Come quickly!”

With that, the three staff members turned on their heels and headed out of the room, their celebrity patients momentarily forgotten.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve somehow made this a crossover with Diagnosis Murder and I am all for it.
> 
> Enjoy the angst!

_So... so cold..._

_Why am I so cold?_

_Oh yeah, we’re on vacation._

_The snow._

_The snow, that must be it._

_But why am I so..._

_COLD!_

Scott’s eyes shot open. Feelings of fear, anguish and hurt suddenly washed over him and he felt himself hyperventilating. 

He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe!

He thrashed out to try and free himself from the constricting feeling overcoming him. His hand collided with a glass resting on the tray beside him and smashed to the floor. This attracted the attention of a nearby orderly who rushed over to calm the panicking child.

“It’s okay honey, it’s okay.” she soothed, getting ready to sedate him, “Doctor, we need a doctor, get Doctor Hitchens in here!”

“He’s dealing with a Code Blue!” a passing intern called out.

“Then get Doctor Sloan!”

The intern rushed away and soon returned with an older, distinguished looking gentleman. By this time Scott had now calmed down a little but was still breathing in a staggered manner. He was now sitting upright in bed and hugging himself, small puffs of breath leaving his lips.

The doctor approached calmly and ducked down next to the bed so he was at Scott’s level. The boy did not look at him.

“Hello Scott, my name is Doctor Sloan. How are you doing?”

Scott couldn’t find the strength to answer him. Instead he looked over to see his dad sleeping in the bed to his right and John sleeping in the bed to his left. The sight of his innocent brother sleeping through his troubles caused tears to gather in Scott’s eyes and he then found himself sobbing uncontrollably.

Doctor Sloan was closely by his side, holding a steady hand on Scott’s shoulder as he gently patted his back. He dismissed the nurse who closed the door behind her.

Once they were alone, the doctor remained with Scott until his crying had calmed down. The child sniffled and looked up at the kindly doctor, feeling numb.

“H-How is John?” he rasped.

“John will be fine, he’s just sleeping. How are you doing?”

“Badly.” he forced out, his eyes low. “Did... did they find my mom? My younger brothers?”

Sloan gave a sad smile. “They found your mom and your brothers. Your brothers are safe.”

“And my mom?”

The doctor paused. “I have some sad news to tell you, Scott. Your mother died a few moments ago. I’m so sorry.” 

“Oh. Okay.”

The doctor felt his heart ache. Scott clearly didn’t know how to process his grief.

“Okay...” Scott’s numbness increased. His mind became heavy with a flush of thoughts and he sank back down on the bed, trying to process this news. “Okay...”

“Mom... mom is dead?” came a small voice.

Doctor Sloan turned to see John now sitting up in bed, a large bruise coating his cheek. The blonde had stirred a few minutes ago and although confused by his surroundings at first, quickly remembered the circumstances to why he was there. His eyes met with Scott’s and he found himself strangely calm, until a wall of grief collided with him.

“Mom is dead...” John repeated. “Mom...”

John’s eyes watered. Small trembles consumed his frail body and he covered his eyes quickly. That sight alone was enough for Scott. Struggling out of his tight bed sheets, the brunette dashed over to John’s bed, practically tackling his brother in a hug. Scott’s emotional wall finally cracked and he found himself awash with suffering, his own tears flowing freely.

Doctor Sloan watched over the brothers with great torment.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me!

_Mom was dead?_

_There’s no... no way..._

Scott stared blankly at the wall ahead of him. His tired eyes gave away how haunted he was, the dark circles etched onto his skin. His tears had dried up now but he remained numb. He couldn’t focus. Time seemed to have stopped and everything was going slowly. Only one thing dominated his thoughts. 

He’d lost his mother at the age of thirteen. 

_It can’t be true... It just can’t... ___

__“Mom...”_ _

__Doctor Sloan had his arm cradled around John’s small frame. The blonde had cried himself to sleep not long ago but was still trembling. His eyes fell onto the older of the children. Scott was sitting on the edge of the bed, eyes trained on the plain white wall in front of him. He appeared to be deep in thought. Sloan didn’t want to disturb him. Scott was traumatized enough and was trying to cope in any way possible._ _

__The door opened and a young doctor walked into the room, a clip chart in hand. His blonde hair bounced slightly as he crossed the room, his face sombre. “Sorry for interrupting.” the doctor handed him the chart. “Doctor Hitchens needs to see you.”_ _

__The older man stood up. “Thanks Jess. Mind keeping an eye on these three? Let me know as soon as Mr Tracy wakes up. I don’t think that’ll be for a while though as we’re keeping him under but just in case.”_ _

__“No problem, doc’.” Jesse nodded his head as his friend left the room. He glanced over at a seemingly comatose Scott. He took his friend’s place on John’s bed and glanced at the sleeping child, thinking of how much the boy reminded him of himself when he was little. Tired, lonely and hurting._ _

__He then looked over at Jeff Tracy. Strong, businessman Jeff Tracy. He didn’t know much about the tycoon really. He just knew that he was a very rich and private man._ _

___Best thing to be, really._ _ _

__He may have been rich but sadly nothing would buy him back his wife now. Jesse really felt for the man. He’d hate to be the one to tell him about his wife’s passing but he knew that was beyond his control. It was his duty. If Mark wasn’t back in time then that task would be designated to him. He sighed. He hated delivering bad news to patients._ _

__A loud clatter sprung him out of his thoughts. Scott had jumped off of his bed and was frantically running towards the door. Jesse’s eyes widened and he quickly pursued the boy._ _

__“Scott, wait! Scott!”_ _

__Scott ran as fast as he could down the corridor. He had to find his mom. His brothers. He wanted to be with them. He didn’t like being in that other room. It was scary. His dad wasn’t waking up and without John he was lonely._ _

__He catapaulted under a food trolley and skidded to a stop at the end of the corridor, looking to see where he could run to next._ _

__The hospital corridors were like a maze. He didn’t know where he was going but knew he had to avoid the hospital staff to get there. He dove into a room to his right and hid under the hospital bed, deciding to wait there until he knew he was safe._ _


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just take a moment to thank all of the medical staff around the world for helping to deal with the current global crisis! Special shout-out to the NHS and my aunts and cousin who are doing their part to save lives.

A few hours had passed since Scott had ran away from the room. Thankfully one of the nurses had found him cowering under the bed and brought him back to the private ward. The young doctor watched over the two boys as they fell into an uneasy sleep.

The medical staff worked tirelessly into the night caring for avalanche victims along with other unrelated patients. The hospital was a chaotic mess.

Soon morning came and Jeff Tracy woke up to the sunlight streaming in through the blind slats, the drugs in his system giving him a pounding headache.

His eyes creeped open and he looked over the room to see his sleeping sons. Both appeared to be in exactly the same positions since he'd last seen them. He tried to sit up in bed. The young intern noticed him struggling so came over to him and helped him sit up, being careful not to tear his stitches.

A few moments later, the doctor who first brought the Tracy family in entered the room and strode over to him. After an evening of saving people's lives, the exhausted man was running two large doses of caffeine and optimism. However, his optimism faltered as he crossed the room towards Jeff Tracy. He'd be telling the man about his wife.

"Ah, Mr Tracy. Good to see you awake." Doctor Hitchens said.

"Doesn't feel good being awake."

"That'll be the drugs. Ahem, Doctor Travis, would you mind leaving the room for a moment?"

Jesse nodded his head, "Of course, Doctor. I'll be right outside." he left the room in a hurry.

The blonde doctor watched his superior through the small glass panel in the door with a sense of foreboding, knowing how this conversation was exactly going to go. He couldn't hear what was being said but the crushed look in Jeff's eyes indicated the worst. At first he seemed aloof, slowly processing the knowledge that someone so important to him was no longer alive. They'd have no more time together. No more memories. That was it.

His wife was gone.

Jesse watched in horror as the billionaire suddenly crumpled into his bed before screaming at Doctor Hitchens. He screamed and screamed and screamed, grabbing a plantpot from the table and throwing it at the doctor's head, which thankfully missed. He still appeared to be shouting at the doctor then calmed down a little as Hitchen's soothing yet controlling voice took hold. As the doctor told him more about what had happened, his body finally cracked and the grief took over.

The two doctors watched silently as the normally strong, stoic businessman was reduced to a sobbing pile of mush.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Got a lot of projects I'm juggling which is always fun.
> 
> Hope you're all safe and well. Enjoy!

“Care for some tea, dear?”

“Ooh yes please. You’re too kind to me, love.”

Grant Tracy smiled at his wife as he made his way to their new kitchenette. It was looking lovely after the modifications Jeff had made to it two weekends ago before going abroad. They were both very pleased with how it had turned out and it was exactly how they’d both envisioned it. He especially liked the addition of the family portrait hanging on the wall, which had been Lucille’s personal touch. The photo had been taken on Grant’s birthday a few months prior and had the whole family on it, which is why he loved it so much.

A little piece of heaven.

He switched on the kettle that was sitting in the corner of the counter and pulled out two teacups from the cupboard. As he waited for the kettle to boil he sat down on the single leather chair wedged up the corner of the lounge and grabbed his newspaper off of the nearby coffee table, deciding to check the headlines. Grant’s eyes flicked over the articles. There was nothing of interest to report to his wife. 

Christine was busy flicking through television channels with the remote. “Oh look, dear. Kojak is on tonight. I haven’t seen that show in yonks!” she commented as the show’s name passed her by.

Grant nodded in agreement, “Same here! Set it to record and we’ll watch it with dinner.”

“That’s a good idea. We’ll finish off the rest of that meat loaf tonight and have some apple pie for afters.”

“You spoil me.” Grant chuckled.

Christine smiled and continued flicking through the channels to find something of interest but as usual, there was nothing decent on. She was about to turn off the television altogether when a harsh gasp from her husband stopped her.

“Grant?”

“Switch on the news.” his voice was hoarse.

Not liking the tone of his voice, Christine complied quickly, switching over the channel. The headlines popped up and she was immediately greeted with a photo of a familiar face, clad in his business suit, his stony eyes shooting a stern expression that encapsulated a complete front to protect his loved ones.

It was her son.

“Jeff!”

Grant got off his chair and approached his wife, placing a firm hand on her shoulder as they took in the sight of their son plastered up on the screen.

“J-Jeff!” Christine repeated, eyes wide, trying to take in the bold print banner skimming across the screen.

_“So far the avalanche has taken the lives of six tourists, including Lucille Tracy, wife of businessman Jeff Tracy. We’re not currently aware of Mr Tracy’s condition, or that of his five sons, but a local source revealed that their injuries are severe.”_

Christine let out a panicked wail, “Grant, oh Grant, it can’t be true!”

“Lucy... good God no...” 

The two were in complete shock. Christine clutched onto the hem of her dress, tears building up in her eyes. Her blood ran cold and it vaguely occurred to her that she was now trembling.

How did this happen? Why was this happening now? Lucy had passed away? Lucy? What? What was going on? Why had the press been told first and not them? Lucille was dead? It couldn’t be true, it had to be a lie! What was going on? How were the kids? How was Jefferson? What was happening? She’d spoken to Jeff during the morning before the family went out skiing and they were all completely fine! They were all in high spirits! Lucille was so excited to take the boys out together with Jeff as a family. Lucille... Lucy... 

She couldn’t be dead.

“Lucille...”

The stunned silence was cut by the chirp of the telephone. Grant rushed over to it and pulled it off the wall, putting the receiver next to his ear. “Hello? Yes. Oh God. Oh God. No! I-I- we can book a flight. Oh you have, thank you. Any news? Oh God. No... No! NO! Oh God. No... NO! I’m sorry. Yes, y-yes- my personal number is- oh you’ve been told, okay. I understand. You can contact us with that. O-Okay. Thanks. We’ll see you soon. Goodbye.” he put the phone down and stared blankly at his wife.

“Grant?” she sniffled.

“That was the hospital they’re at. Jeff and the boys are okay at the moment, but Lucy...” he broke off with a sob, punching the wall next to him. 

Christine made her way over to him and hugged him tightly, knowing what this would mean for the family. “Lucy...”

“W-We have to be strong for him, Christine. I won’t let him see me like this.” he wiped his eyes.

“Oh Grant.” Christine uttered sadly, a fresh wave of tears forming in her eyes. The couple remained in a forlorn embrace before Christine pulled away, offering her husband her handkerchief. Grant took it with a grim smile and wiped his eyes.

“T-They’ve booked us a flight for this evening. We best start packing.” 

Christine nodded glumly and walked over to the television. Jeff’s picture was still being projected on the screen and had now been joined with a picture of Lucille from a few months back.

She picked up the remote and switched it off.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the people continually supporting this story!

It all seemed like a blur.

One minute they were in their house having a normal day and the next minute they were being scooted off in one of Jeff’s private business jets - Christine barking orders at the pilot in her usual no-nonsense way. After Grant had finished storing their luggage in the hold above them, the jet set off, traversing its way across the sea on route to Switzerland.

The journey was tense. Both were feeling a heavy flurry of emotions as the plane made its way to the disaster zone. The aging couple were wrapped up in loss, despair and anger - why did this have to happen to their family? Why them? Why did Lucille have to be taken away so soon? What was Jeff going to do now? He’s be lost without Lucille! The children... The children didn’t deserve this. 

Grant released the sigh he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in. All he wanted to do now was go and see his son, his grandkids. He needed to be there to comfort them while they needed it most.

He gave a swift glance over to his wife who had her head buried in her knitting. She’d been in the process of knitting a scarf for Alan but it had now turned into a blanket as she couldn’t bear to put her needles down. She had to occupy herself. She had to occupy herself or else she’d have a breakdown. She couldn’t do that to Jeff. She had to be strong for her son. 

Wired on caffeine, emotional turmoil and heartbreak, Grant stared out of the plane window with a great sense of numbness and pain in his heart. 

~~~~~

_Head hurts... why does head hurt?_

_Everything is cold._

His head felt fuzzy. Like a warm kind of fuzzy. Was he dreaming?

“Nurse, Nurse, get Doctor Hudson in here! He’s waking up!”

_Arm hurts... It feels heavy?_

_I feel funny..._

“Stay with me, baby, that’s a good boy. Nurse, please hurry up!”

“She’s on route, Nancy! Keep him steady.”

_She’s loud and my head hurts. I don’t like it._

“That’s it, that’s it, you can do it!”

_Do what? I’m cold._

“That’s it Gordon, come on, you can do it! Open your eyes, sweetie.”

_I want... mommy..._

A pair of watering amber eyes opened just a fraction, wincing as the bright intrusion of light pierced through them. Gordon tried widening his eyes to actually see what was going on but the light of the room dazzled him greatly, causing him to close them again. He let out a whimper and coughed as his chest constricted tightly, an uncomfortable feeling of liquid bursting out of his mouth.

He felt the sensation of a tissue brushing against his lips and he coughed again, eyes opening to see a lady standing over him. She had long hair and was speaking to him nicely.

“Hello Gordon, try not to talk, okay?” the nurse lulled, dabbing his face with the tissue. She tried to smile for the boy, knowing how much pain and suffering he was in and was going to be in during the near future, knowing that his mother was dead and the toll that would take on the Tracy family. She patted his mouth.

Gordon blinked dazedly, trying to wriggle onto his side. The nurse stopped him by placing a gentle hand on his chest. 

“You can’t move, sweetie, I don’t want you hurting yourself.”

The five year old stared up at the girl blankly, as to be expected in his condition. He was tired. Tired and confused. She sighed and turned to Doctor Hudson as she strode across the room, white coat flowing behind her sharply.

“Doctor Hudson,” the nurse acknowledged, standing to full attention, “Gordon’s finally woken up. I’m still keeping an eye on his brothers.”

“Very good, nurse.” The doctor neared the young auburn haired boy and checked his vitals. “He’s still stable, which is good. His stitches have set now but I still don’t like the look of that bruising on his shoulder.” she made a few notes on his chart.

Gordon remained still as the doctor and nurse crowded around him. They fiddled with the tubes sticking out of his chest and then murmured something about his arm which he missed, the regular beep of the heart monitor making him sleepy.

_I like the beeps..._

The doctor checked Gordon’s face to find the boy falling back asleep again. She mentally noted a few changes to his condition which she then addressed to the nurse on the way out of the room, wanting to leave him to rest. After doing a quick check on the two boys in the beds either side of Gordon’s, the medical staff left the room, missing the small blonde who had just started to stir.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos!

_My head feels funny..._

Alan felt a light sensation of pounding in his head. He tried opening his eyes but the room was too bright so he immediately closed them, making a little noise of irritation. He rubbed his eyes with aching arms and opened them again, seeing that he was in a large room. It had lots and lots of beds but they all looked empty. There were tables next to the beds, along with curtains and televisions. There were windows next to him but they looked sort of black. Why would windows be black? They looked very strange. 

His eyes then met the sleeping figure in the bed next to him.

“G-Gordy?” his voice came out as a hoarse whisper.

Gordon was sleeping. He looked normal enough, but he noticed his brother seemed to have a dark circle coating his right eye and had bandages wrapped around his head, covering some of his auburn hair and causing it to stick out at weird angles. Alan thought nothing of this until he noticed Gordon’s nose - he had tubes sticking out of him!

Alan let out a squeak and covered his eyes, not wanting to see his brother like that. As he brought his hands up to his eyes he noticed a tube sticking out of his own wrist, causing him to whimper and try pulling it out. It wouldn’t budge and Alan felt a wave of nausea wash over him, causing him to start crying. He didn’t like the tube. It hurt. He wanted Gordon to wake up. He didn’t like this. He wanted his parents.

Unbeknownst to him, his cries were managing to stir the other of his sleeping brothers out of unconsciousness. 

Just across from Gordon, Virgil was slowly coming out of his coma. He’d been disturbed by Alan’s cries but wasn’t aware of who was actually causing them, or what they were. He’d just put the noise down as irritating. 

Now that he was waking up Virgil could feel various different blotches of pain throughout random parts of his body. His arms felt sore. As did his legs and chest and head. Cursing the noise for waking him up and causing him to feel this new pain, Virgil groaned and opened his eyes. As he became more aware of his surroundings, he couldn’t help but think that there was some reason he was in this strange room now, but for the life of him he couldn’t remember what it was.

Virgil tried opening his mouth to speak but found his voice wasn’t there. He made a strangled rasping noise and groaned, feeling pain grip his throat. Annoyed, the middle Tracy managed to turn his head to the right to see the source of the noise. Instead, he saw a bed next to him with Gordon laying in it. His normally loud brother was fast asleep, looking a little strange. His nose looked weird.

Virgil put that down to Gordon’s tricks. He’d probably done that to himself... or something? He lost his train of thought and yawned. 

Alan’s head shot up at the noise and the three year old saw that his older brother was awake. He let out a sound of elation and prepared to run over to Virgil but found the thing in his wrist was bothering him. He tried pulling it but it wouldn’t move. He let out another cry and tried harder to pull it out, eventually managing to rip it out of his skin. Ignoring the pain radiating from that spot, Alan ran over to Virgil’s bed and practically leapt onto the bottom of it, trying to gently climb up and see his brother.

To his horror, when he got to the top of the bed he found Virgil was asleep again, leaving him alone in the strange place. He let out a wail and hugged his brother’s arm, hoping he’d wake up again soon.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sad times ahoy!

Alan was panicking. His brothers weren’t waking up and he was stuck in this weird room without them and he didn’t know why they were there but he was so alone and he missed his mom and dad and Scott and John and he was just so scared!

Still on Virgil’s bed, Alan clung to his unconscious brother and let out a set of whimpers, really hoping the noise would wake his older brother up. He’d been trying to call his brother’s name but Virgil was still unresponsive which just wasn’t fair. Why was Virgil leaving him alone? He didn’t like being left in charge. It was scary.

The door across the room opened and Alan was aware of a lady calling his name but he didn’t want to talk to her because she was a stranger. He wanted his brothers to wake up and get him out of this situation because he knew if they were awake he wouldn’t have to talk to the lady. He just wanted her to go away, so he told her that in hope that she would.

“Go ‘way!” he squeaked, burying his head in Virgil’s white covers.

“Someone’s here to see you, Alan.” the nurse said, walking over to Virgil’s bed to check his temperature.

“I don’t wanna see them!” he screeched, hugging his brother’s arm. “Go away!”

“I think you will want to see them, Alan. Take a look.” the nurse replied kindly.

Alan slowly lifted his head to see his grandparents standing in the doorway. He couldn’t believe it. They were here! His grandma and grandpa were here! He let out a cry and rushed over to the duo, crashing into them and being lifted into a hug by the pair.

“Alan, oh my little Alan! I’m so glad you’re okay!” Grandma sobbed, holding the boy close to her and husband. She planted a number of kisses on his blonde curly head and Grant did the same. “Oh my little Alan!” she repeated, hugging him tightly.

Alan rubbed his eyes. “I missed you!”

“We missed you too, son...” Grant ruffled his hair.

Alan pointed at the two beds, “Gordon and Virgil are in bed. They won’t wake up! Virgil did then fell asleep. I want them to wake up!”

Passing her grandson over to Grant to hold, Christine and her husband made their way over to the two beds occupying their other two youngest grandsons. The sight of them lying there so still sent another wave of tears down Christine’s face. Grant stroked Gordon’s cheek.

“You said they were suffering from hypothermia?” he asked the nurse.

She nodded, “Yes. Aside from that they have minor bruising and a few cuts and scrapes here and there. Gordon’s chest was cut open by some of the debris which is why you may be able to see the stitching there but overall the three are in good shape and their recovery time will be short.”

“Unlike my daughter-in-law.” Grant slipped out, causing his wife to give him a sombre look.

The nurse looked him in the eye, “I’m so sorry for your loss, Mr Tracy, Mrs Tracy.”

At his grandparents’ crushed demeanours, Alan knew something was wrong. Were his parents okay? Older brothers? He wanted to know! He clung to his grandfather and held his face into his neck, whispering his very thoughts into Grant’s ear. Grant sat on the edge of Gordon’s bed with Alan in his arms and Christine stood nearby, both unprepared to give Alan the heartbreaking news.

The nurse understood what they were about to do and felt it wise to leave the room for the moment. She stood outside until she heard the sharp wail of the toddler. 

His inconsolable cries left her numb.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Depressing times ahoy!

Jeff was inconsolable. 

His wife, his darling wife. She was gone. Gone. What about the kids? They were now without a mother. How would they cope? How would he cope? How would he be able to survive without her? He couldn’t. He just couldn’t. She was his rock. Gem. Diamond. She had been everything to him but now... 

Now he was nothing.

Ignoring the nurse who was desperately trying to get him to drink something, the billionaire wept. He was consumed by grief. He felt too numb to comprehend what was going on properly and felt sick. Shaken to the core. Heartsick. He was in a daze, completely disjointed from his surroundings. He was aware of the staff members talking to him but their words were not sinking in. They were needless.

All he could think about was Lucille.

Never again would he hear the sound of her charming voice. See her beautiful self smiling away. See her spending time with their adoring children. 

She was dead. 

But... how could she be dead? She was too young to have died. She was too special! They... they must have been lying to him! 

He couldn’t process it. His mind was coming to irrational conclusions. Anything to protect him from the grief. Losing his wife so soon... It couldn’t be so!

_I can’t, I can’t do this... Lucille... What am I supposed to do? The kids... How... I don’t... I can’t..._

“Mr Tracy, you’re having a panic attack!” one of the nurse screeched, noticing his rapidly deteriorating state. The nurses tried pulling him out of it but it was too late. 

Jeff was sinking. Drowning in his own sorrow. He was scared. So scared. He didn’t know what to do. What could he do? He was without his inner strength. Lucille was his strength. She had been his strength. Would always be his strength! But he couldn’t do this without her! Why couldn’t he have died in her place? Why did she have to he taken from him? Why did she have to die?

“Mr Tracy, please calm down!”

Jeff ignored the shrill voices. He was too wrapped up in his building anxiety. Although trapped in a state of panic, he could feel the rivers of tears flowing down his pale cheeks. They wouldn’t stop.

“Breathe Jeff! Breathe!”

He was aware of multiple people shouting at him but he couldn’t reply. He just couldn’t reply. He was too stunned, too stressed - couldn’t move, couldn’t blink, couldn’t speak. Everything was blurred. Nothing seemed right. Nothing was right. He knew that for a fact. He couldn’t go on. 

He needed his wife.

_Oh God I can’t do this I can’t do this why why why oh God I’m sorry I can’t Lucille this is my fault I’m sorry I let you down oh God oh God I can’t breathe!_

He was hyperventilating. World crumbling out from beneath him. The nurses were fussing around his trembling frame, doing everything and anything they could to bring him out of his panic attack but he couldn’t hear them now. He was buried in anguish.

_My Lucille, my darling Lucille... Why did you have to leave? I can’t do this without you! I can’t do it for you I can’t do it for them I can’t bring them up without you I can’t I’m not strong enough I can’t, I just can’t..._

“JEFFERSON!”

He stopped struggling.

“Jefferson, now I know you’re in there and I need you to come out now. I’m right beside you.” came the heart-wrenching plea.

Jeff zoned back into the room, eyes widening. His watering eyes met his mothers’ own and he cracked, practically throwing his head into her side. She cradled his head in her arms and let her own tears fall, hushing him softly. She signalled the nurses to leave and held her son tightly, listening to the sound of his quiet sobs.

“Mom, I can’t- I can’t do it. She’s gone mom, I can’t.”

“I know dear, I know.” she ran her fingers through his hair.

“How am I supposed... the kids... how do I-“

“They know Jeff, they know. The nurses told them.”

“Lucille, Lucy... I’m sorry, so sorry...” he sobbed.

Christine held her son tight.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More words! The chapters will start getting a tad longer from now on. Enjoy!

_Five weeks later:_

It was late when Jeff unlocked the door to their house. His fingers trembled as he stuck the key into the lock, mind elsewhere. He cursed and gave it a hard turn, the door opening under pressure. It gave a familar creak as it was pushed open.

He was greeted by the dimly lit corridor making up the porch and he stepped forward towards the kitchen. Behind him were Grant, Christine and his kids following quietly, all heading for the lounge. Christine had Alan up in her arms and Gordon was holding her hand tightly, unusually silent. Virgil was clinging to Scott's arm and John was gripping Grant's trembling hand, walking just behind the older gentleman. All were wearing their Sunday best, an indication of where they'd spent the day.

The mood was sombre. Eerie. All were exhausted and none could speak.

Crossing the kitchen, Jeff boiled the kettle. As he waited there, he rested his head in his hands on the work surface, his misery overcoming him once again. Since Lucille's passing he'd continually been having sudden attacks of grief and pain and now that they were back home it was kicking in again.

The funeral had been tough.

Jeff clenched his fists and held back a sob. Seeing his wonderful - his precious sons having to see off their mother like that was the most upsetting thing he'd ever seen in his lifetime and he knew the image would haunt him from years to come. His heart had once again been broken at the sight of his struggling sons. Seeing little Alan sobbing his heart out on the pew, clinging to Jeff's mother like the world depended on it. Seeing the sniffling Gordon sitting with his head in his hands, trying to comprehend what was going on. Seeing the normally composed Virgil cupping his face to catch his flowing tears as he listened to the heartbreaking elegy. Seeing the serious, saddening expression on John's face as he stared at his mother's coffin, caught in a dejected trance. Seeing the brave Scott holding it in as best he could, trying to be strong for his family.

His boys... were his everything.

Jeff roughly wiped his eyes on his sleeve and retrieved three mugs from the cupboard, still not thinking straight. His grip slipped and one of the mugs smashed to the floor, shattering into a millions pieces. He let out a primal yell and punched the cupboard door, frustrated by his own clumsiness.

_If Lucille were here-_

Jeff knelt down and started picking up the chunks of glass, not caring that he'd probably end up cutting himself. A smaller pair of hands roamed around on the floor beside him, sweeping up the glass into a dustpan. Jeff tearfully watched as Scott swept the pieces together before carrying the pan to the bin, tipping the glass inside.

Jeff shot Scott a heartfelt look. His son was already taking charge so early into his life. Someday he'd make a fantastic leader. Jeff was proud of his oldest son. Growing up so fast. Without his mother. Mother. Jeff's wife... He felt his eyes watering again and he quickly ducked down onto the counter, hiding his face in his hands. He couldn't look weak in front of his son.

Scott remained in the kitchen and stared at his dad, who hadn't moved from his perch. It made him so sad to see his father like this. Jeff Tracy was a strong man. He always had been. His only real weakness was his family, and Scott could see that now. Feeling as though he was going to break down again, the brunette plodded over to his dad and wrapped his arms around his back, squeezing him into a hug. His tears started to soak into his father's blazer and his shoulders shook with grief.

Touched by his son's movement, Jeff maneuvered his oldest son into a proper hug, sitting him up on the counter. He buried his head in Scott's brown curls to conceal his tears and planted several kisses on his head. After a few minutes, Jeff pulled away and gave him a tearful smile, ruffling his chocolate locks.

Scott gave him a watery smile. "The kettle's boiled, dad."

Jeff nodded thankfully. "I'm doing grandpa and grandma a hot drink. Do you and your brothers want anything?"

"Warm milk please." he said, leaving the room to give his father some space.

Jeff started preparing the drinks, once again left alone with his thoughts. The past few weeks had been a complete blur. He just couldn't believe so much had happened in so little time. He couldn't get over it. Five weeks ago he was vacationing with his beautiful family in the mountains. Five weeks later he was without a wife.

Jeff finished warming the milk mix in the microwave and gave it a stir, pouring it out into three small cups. He tiredly gathered them onto a tray along with the hot teas and carried them into the lounge. He found his children huddled on the sofa together. Alan and Gordon had fallen asleep but the three eldest were still awake, images of death fresh in their minds. Christine was cooped up in the armchair and Grant was standing by the back door, staring into the moonlit sky through the window.

Jeff placed the tray onto the table by his dad and passed his parents their drinks. He then made his way over to the dozing kids and gave them their milk. All nodded in thanks, still unable to find the words to talk to him properly. He took a seat on the arm of the armchair and placed his hand on his mother's shoulder. She leant into him and sombrely gazed at her grandchildren, not believing that a few weeks ago the boys were in hospital. It was only earlier in the week that the boys had their remaining bandages removed and were fully discharged but the emotional scars were still there and would be for a long time.

Christine sipped her tea. She could sense her son wanted to ask her something. She smiled at him, hoping to ease his nerves.

"Mom? Um... about tonight..." Jeff started, his voice cracking.

Christine anticipated his question and replied in a hushed manner so the children wouldn't hear, "Are you absolutely sure about this, Jefferson? We can leave if you want us to."

"No, mom. Stay. Please." Jeff practically begged her. He couldn't cope sleeping without his wife, especially not tonight. Not tonight. He needed some semblance of support. His parents were his only support network.

Christine and Grant looked at one another and gave each other a knowing smile. Grant walked over to Jeff and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, giving him a kiss on the head.

"We'll always be here for you, son." he mumbled into his hair.

Jeff gave him a tearful smile and removed himself from the chair, walking upstairs to get the spare room ready. Grant made his way over to the children, who had all finally fallen asleep out of exhaustion. He lifted the two youngest up and balanced them over his shoulder before following Jeff upstairs.

Christine remained with the eldest three, watching over them as they slept. Now without a mother, she knew the children would be facing the toughest time in their lives. The healing process would take a long time for them to get adjusted to but she hoped- _prayed_ that it would get easier for them eventually. That it would not let it destroy them.

She was most worried about Jeff, who had already started to shut himself away from them all. He was always wanting to be alone, primarily so it would stop people seeing him bottle up his emotions, but she knew it was unhealthy. She prayed he would not become self-destructive.

It was for the sake of his children the most.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter. Thanks for sticking with me!

Cooped up inside his office inside Tracy Tower, Jeff feathered the photograph of his wife sitting proudly on his desk. Just like the day he had first met her, he found he couldn’t take his eyes off her. She was as beautiful as ever, smile and all.

He just missed her so much.

Jeff clenched his trembling fists as his eyes darted over to the photo next to hers. It contained his five sons, taken the same day as Lucille’s. They were all smiling - a foreign sight to him now as he hadn’t seen any of them that happy since before the accident. In all honesty Jeff hadn’t seen them full stop. He’d practically buried himself in his work because he couldn’t face going home and being without her. Living without her.

_Lucille..._

He felt tears filling up in his eyes and quickly wiped them with his sleeve. He knew he couldn’t keep on like this. It was wrong to mourn here. He was acting like a child. He needed to man up, go home and be a father to his sons, but he just couldn’t. He didn’t have the strength; the fire. She had been his strength. Without her, he was nothing.

“Oh Lucille...”

A knock at the door startled him. He wiped his eyes and cleared his throat.

“Mr Tracy?” came a meek voice. It was his secretary, Susie.

“Yes?” he tried to sound confident, failing miserably.

Susie opened the door and smiled. “Mr Donovan is here to see you about the cash exchange.”

“Oh, yes. Very good, send him up please.” he took a sip from his cup of lukewarm coffee, avoiding her eyes.

“Of course, sir.” 

“Is that all?” he asked, noticing her uncertainty.

Susie was hesitant to leave. “Mr Tracy?”

He made eye contact with her. Concern laced her delicate features. “Yes?”

“It’s not for me to say, but... are you definitely feeling up to this meeting? You could always postpone it.”

He gave her a weak smile. “I’m fine, Susie. Thank you for your concern. I’ve put off this meeting twice already. I best get it over and done with now.” he paused momentarily, in thought, “Oh I forgot to mention earlier - would you mind reminding Lucy to forward those aeronautic component invoices to Clive? Mr Lancer has sent another email to me expecting them.”

Susie sighed, wishing her boss would take a break from work altogether and go home. His mental health concerned her. “Yes sir.”

The shy blonde left the room, leaving Jeff alone with his thoughts again. He let out a deep sigh and leant back in his chair, feeling like crap. He was definitely not in the mood to have a meeting. His mind was mush. He couldn’t help but keep thinking about the accident and his wife and his kids. He felt a strong sense of self-pity and it just wouldn’t stop. It was the flashbacks which were the worst. The day of the avalanche had been burned into his memory. Every second of it. Starting from being trapped in the snow to his hellish time in the hospital and losing his wife. He had nightmares. Nightmares during the day, too. The memories continued to plague his thoughts. Of what he did and didn’t do. What more he could have done. 

_Lucille..._

He sighed, gazing at his loved ones.

_I’m sorry. So sorry._

He remembered the screams of the trapped, the moans of the dying. 

_It’s all my fault._

He felt tears forming in his eyes once more and he violently shook his head, not wanting them to fall. He slammed his fists on the desk, causing the photos to collapse face first. He dropped his head into the table and covered his face with his arms, feeling like a pathetic baby. He had to focus on work. WORK. He was at work. He had no time to cry. To mourn.

Jeff shook the negative thoughts away and lifted his head slightly, his eyes meeting the paper plans scattered across his desk. They contained detailed sketches of a new hypersonic airliner which his company had been tasked with assisting the production of. It was supposedly being made to rival Air Terrainean’s hyperliner proposals that had recently been leaked to the press by a bitter ex-employee.

His eyes scanned over the plans. By the looks of things the aircraft was going to be a bulky rocket looking thing. Ugly, too. It looked fairly unremarkable to Jeff, who had seen plenty of aircraft in his lifetime.

He snorted. He couldn’t be dealing with this right now.

_You can’t predict an avalanche. You can’t stop it, either._

He shook his head. Sporadic thoughts about that day continued to enter his mind.

_If only they could’ve gotten to her in time..._

Jeff traced his hands over the fine lines of the drawing. 

_Lucy..._

He pushed the papers together, noticing the speed of the aircraft written in the corner of the page. Four thousand miles per hour. 

_If only more of these existed._

Jeff sighed and tucked the papers together as a knock was heard at his door. It was time for his meeting. He lifted the two photographs up, restoring his family to their former glory on his desk. He rubbed his eyes and straightened his suit, pushing all thoughts of his beloved family to the back of his mind.

It was time to be a businessman.

**The End!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this story, I really appreciate the support I've had off you guys and your wonderful comments!
> 
> Now that I've finished this I can reveal that I've started making a sequel! It's going to be set a few years after this one, focusing on the boys trying to cope with an absent father and the loss of their mother, so stay tuned! c:


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